why contact visits need a settling-in period 🧸

This week’s newsletter outlines why the early visits rarely look like the later ones - and why that’s completely normal for children.

Families often expect the very first contact visit to feel smooth and natural, but for most children it takes time to settle into a new routine. Those early moments are not a reflection of how the future visits will feel - they’re simply the beginning of a transition.

This week, we wanted to gently explain why those early visits look the way they do, and why patience really matters for everyone involved.

When a new contact arrangement begins, children are processing multiple changes at once - the environment, the routine, the worker, the expectations, and the emotional tone of the adults around them.

It’s completely typical for the first few visits to feel wobbly or uneven. Children might be clingy, quiet, excitable, or unsure. None of these reactions are negative - they’re simply signs that the child is finding their bearings.

A settling-in period allows children to ease into the space without pressure.

A new contact arrangement can feel unfamiliar for parents as well.

For the lives with parent, it’s a shift into trusting someone else with a significant moment of the child’s week.

For the spends time with parent, it’s stepping into a supervised space that may feel structured at first.

Everyone is learning a new rhythm.

And just like children, parents also need a little time for the routine to feel stable.

It’s common in the first few visits to see:

• heightened emotions

• lots of checking in with the worker

• quick bursts of reassurance-seeking

• children testing the new boundaries of the space

These are not warning signs. They’re transition signs.

They tell us the child is noticing the change and navigating it safely.

The first visits are not about perfect behaviour or perfect moments.

They’re about orientation.

Children watch closely, take in their setting, and observe how adults respond. Once the routine becomes predictable, generally children settle - and the quality of the visit naturally deepens.

The settling-in phase is a sign of healthy adjustment, not a problem to solve.

Contact workers stay close, steady, and observant.

We support the child through transitions, intervene only when necessary, and quietly document what we see - not to assess or critique, but to ensure the child’s experience is understood in context.

A calm, consistent presence is often all a child needs while they find their footing.

Many parents look back and realise the early visits were nothing like the later ones.

Once the routine settles, connection starts to feel natural again.

Children relax. Parents exhale.

And those first visits - the ones that felt big and awkward - become part of the story of how everyone adjusted.

The first few supervised visits are not the whole story.

They are simply the beginning of a new routine - a time where children learn the shape of the space and adults learn how to breathe again.

Give it some time.