Steps Towards Resolution: Getting to Resolution in a Child-Focused Way

When parents are involved in litigation about their children, it can feel as though the legal process itself becomes the focus; court dates, affidavits, reports, and orders, while the emotional experience of children is pushed into the background. Yet children are often the most impacted by parental conflict. Steps towards resolution that prioritise children’s wellbeing are not only possible, but they are essential. Mediation, including Family Dispute Resolution (FDR), provides parents with an opportunity to shift from adversarial positions to more child-focused outcomes.

Mediation is a structured process where parents meet with a neutral, qualified practitioner to discuss parenting arrangements. The focus is not on who is “right” or “wrong”, but on what arrangements best support the child’s safety, stability, and developmental needs.

In some cases, parents voluntarily engage in mediation. In others, particularly where litigation has already commenced, the court may order parents to attend mediation or FDR. Court-ordered mediation and FDR is not a punishment; rather, it reflects the court’s recognition that cooperative decision-making often produces better outcomes for children than ongoing conflict in the courtroom. The most “stickable”: results are usually those reached by agreement.

One of the greatest strengths of mediation is it provides a non-adversarial environment. Unlike litigation, which often escalates conflict and reinforces positions, mediation supports parents to step back, take a breath, and to reflect on their child’s lived experience.

A child-focused approach asks parents to consider questions such as:

• What does my child need to feel safe and secure?

• How is conflict between parents affecting my child emotionally?

• What arrangements support my child’s relationship with both parents, where safe to do so?

By reframing discussions around children’s needs, rather than parental grievances, mediation helps parents move away from blame and towards cooperation. This shift can be particularly powerful for families where supervised time has been necessary.

For some families, supervised time is an important protective measure. It’s often introduced due to safety concerns, high conflict, or strained parent-child relationships. While supervision may be necessary in the short term, it is rarely intended as a permanent arrangement.

Mediation offers parents an opportunity to reflect on what steps are required to move forward. This may include demonstrating consistent and child-focused behaviour, addressing concerns through support services or parenting programs, and planning gradual changes to parenting arrangements. Parents can work collaboratively to create staged arrangements that prioritise the child’s emotional readiness and sense of safety, including transitions from supervised to non-supervised time, where appropriate.

High conflict between parents is widely recognised as one of the most harmful factors affecting children. Ongoing litigation can entrench hostility and prolong uncertainty for children. Mediation provides a pathway to reduce conflict by encouraging respectful communication, practical problem-solving, and shared responsibility.

Even when full agreement is not reached, mediation can assist to narrow the issues in dispute and improve parents’ ability to co-parent. These skills have long-term benefits, supporting children as they grow and develop, and their needs change.

If you are involved in court proceedings or using a contact service and are considering how to move forward, mediation may be a valuable next step. Parents can engage a mediator by contacting an accredited mediator directly, or by seeking a referral through the court, a lawyer, or a family support service.

Parents do not need to have a lawyer present at mediation. Many attend mediations independently, while others choose to obtain legal advice before or after the process to better understand their rights and options, and others prefer to have their lawyer present. Mediators can explain the process and help parents decide what support is appropriate for them. Mediations can take place online and for many that offers a safer alternative to being in the same space with the other parent.

Choosing to engage in mediation does not mean giving up your position or agreeing to outcomes that do not feel safe or appropriate. It is an opportunity to pause, reflect, and explore child-focused solutions in a supported, non-adversarial and safe environment. It’s an opportunity for parents and children to move forward with greater clarity, stability, and confidence.

This news piece was prepared by Alison Osmand, registered Mediator with more than 30 years’ experience within the family law landscape. Alison can be contacted through her website here